Reply to When to tell kids the truth about their father’s adultery as reason for divorce

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am a woman and if I saw that my husband really was invested into kids, family time, their development dialogue with school I definitely would say yes to an open marriage. Particular if she’s not interested in sex or remarrying in general in the future and staying in that marriage not “wasting” her time in terms of potentially serious relationships.  At least until kids are off to college. I’ve lived through the hassle of divorce fighting, moving, new living arrangement and then my child torn between 2 households. 
So I do recommend and encourage an open dialogue between spouses about ways of addressing their needs. It’s way healthier than cheating which creates a lot of animosity and costly divorces [/quote]

Have you ever been divorced, cheated on, or had an open marriage?[/quote]

Yes, divorced last year after 16 years of marriage (he cheated for the last 5 years of it). Our marriage by far was not "sexless". I was significantly younger and initiated sex, but he just seemed to have very low libido. He was that "cosy" husband in glasses and a sweater, always with contractors at backyard, watching his TV or traveling for work. Little that I knew he was cheating with a married colleague of him, possibly, since 2012.
His cheating brought a very unhealthy dynamic in our divorce (cutting of financial accounts, secretly sending money to AP and registering assets to her name while still being married). In fact I learned about AP when I found out a suspicious banking transaction on an account he thought was separate, but the bank included me in a statement. Also he behaved totally deranged during divorce, abusive verbally and physically. Screaming I was nobody (because his AP was an executive and while I worked, my "main" job was my family) etc.

Currently we are still at war over parenting differences with our son, and he's in the middle.

I wish my exH ever spoke to me about his needs, and I certainly would have tried an open marriage knowing now he was probably polygamous. [/quote]

Sorry forgot to add: and I think that I myself would have benefited from an open marriage, instead of being "faithful" at the expense of being sexually deprived since age 35. I was watching porn while he was on business trips sleeping around. Funny, huh? I am totally fine looking, slim and attractive

[/quote]

I am one of the men who is being attacked here and I have to say, I am sorry you went through this. It sounds awful [/quote]

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