Reply to Why don’t schools have stronger policies about redshirting?

Forum Index » Elementary School-Aged Kids

Reply to "Why don’t schools have stronger policies about redshirting? "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Haven’t read the whole thread. OP, the answer is that only weirdos care about redshirting because it’s a non-issue. I assume this thread is full of the usual sheltered anti-redshirting hysterics, but in real life, this is not an issue. [/quote]

The pro-redshirters are just as crazy.

Agree, though, that irl most people don't care. Outside of private schools that push for redshirting, even in high income areas, only a small portion of the students redshirt.

The people who claim otherwise--that their classrooms are full of Spring redshirters--are either mistaken or outliers.[/quote]

On DCUM, no, the pro-redshirters are not nearly as crazy. I say that as someone who didn’t redshirt but has read these threads for years. There are occasional crazy redshirters, but they are dwarfed by the insane anti-redshirters. Those people are both nuts and weirdly unable to do math.

Agree nobody cares, though. [/quote]

Eh, parents who want to redshirt normal, bright children are also the same people who probably had their panties in a bunch when their kid didn't take their first steps on the same day as the kid down the street. Have some faith in your kids. [/quote]

Likewise, assume parents know their children best and are doing what they think is right. Have some faith, indeed.[/quote]

It's hard having faith in redshirting parents after reading this thread. I can't decide which one of you is crazier. It's either the person who says they redshirt their kid because being an adult "sucks" and they want to prolong their kid's childhood or maybe it's the parent who said their preschool says she'd rather be traveling the world and practice her second language or maybe it's the person who says redshirting "gives the edge you need to become a champion" or perhaps it the person who said their kid is too smart to move on to the next grade or possibly it's the person who said it's necessary to be good at lacrosse, which is possibly the least competitive sport there is. [/quote]

No, it’s just you. Obsessed with other people’s kids, assuming the worst intentions of others, gossiping, keeping track of birthdays, and constantly comparing. [b]You never know what people are dealing with or why they do what they do.[/b] [/quote]

Have you not been paying attention? The redshirting people just told you why they do it. No one has the guess or assume anything. Also, let's not forget which group is tracking other children's birthdays. It's not the people who think redshirting is silly. [/quote]

There are good reasons to redshirt (and generally the school will encourage it when those factors are present) but these threads are always full of crazy, competitive, angry redshirters who are like "you're just mad that you didn't think of it first!" People who redshirt for real, valid reasons don't have to "advocate" for the practice because no one is going to argue that a kid who, for instance, has motor skills delays or selective mutism should be forced to start K at 4 or just-turned 5.

The people who freak out about ANY criticism of redshirting are the people who genuinely just can't bear the thought of their son being the smallest boy in class, or who are using redshirting to make their kid popular (they'll say "confident" but confidence comes from within so that's not it).[/quote]

DP here

Interesting that you mention selective mutism. Every child is different but selective mutism is not a delay, it's an anxiety disorder, and it's treatable. Without treatment you could wait years for it to go away on its own and then potentially face other mental health issues.

I would be concerned about deciding to redshirt based on this. My kid had selective mutism. We treated it in the preschool years. She was definitely ready for K on time and loved it. Holding her back a year would have been a huge disservice to her. I do recognize getting the treatment is really difficult and hard to find trained providers that take insurance but I'm not sure that redshirting solves anything and could cause harm.[/quote]

PP here. My kid also had selective mutism in preschool which is why it's top of mind for me. We also did not redshirt, but instead worked with the school and it resolved towards the end of PK4 and into the beginning of K. But we were at an elementary school with integrated PK, so the problem was identified after she was already enrolled in her elementary school and we were able to work with the same people who would be handling it as she entered upper grades. But I can imagine a situation where a family is at a separate PK and wants to remain there until they see improvement. Since it does stem from anxiety, I could see being reluctant, for good reasons, to move a child dealing with that from a preschool environment that is at least familiar, to an elementary school that will be brand new. Especially when the added academic expectations of K are added on.

But yes, it's a very case by case situation and one I'd want to discuss with the school and our doctor and make a judgement call based on the nuances of the particular case. Which is why, even though we didn't redshirt our kid in that situation (also a summer birthday), I wouldn't judge other parents for doing so.

But that's so different than most of the reasons for redshirting on this thread, which seem to be more about trying to optimize a child's school experience from the first second in order to ensure they become a specific kind of student and adult -- popular, "a leader", dominant.[/quote]

I agree that these are difficult choices and do not judge but I personally (not as an expert but as a parent with experience with this) [b]don't think redshirting for selective mutism is something that should be recommended to families. [/b]It is a challenging situation for sure. Definitely the most challenging and painful part of my parenting journey and our child was later diagnosed with autism, which has been far less distressing for us and less acutely impairing for our child. So I have nothing but empathy for parents going through this.[/quote]

This is a wild statement to make as a black-and-white, across-the-board recommendation. No nuance at all. [/quote]

It's just my opinion based on my experience, as I said. I say it because I don't want people reading this to think they need to redshirt their kids because they have selective mutism. Do any experts recommend redshirting a kid for this?[/quote]

I really think it's a case by case basis.

My kid only had one year of preschool due to Covid. I discovered that one year of preschool really compresses the time you have to prep a child for elementary if a problem arises that requires a diagnosis and therapies. So I can easily see a situation where the selective mutism is not caught until a month or two into the PK4 year (selective mutism is almost always viewed as simply shyness or being slow to warm at first, unless the child already has an ASD or similar diagnosis, and it's only after all the other kids have acclimated and the teachers realize it can't just be shyness that it gets flagged). Then you have the time it takes for diagnosis and therapy. If it was April or May prior to the K year, and the child was diagnosed but still not talking at all in class, I think there is a decent argument for retaining in preschool. Both because it will be easier to start K if the selective mutism is totally over, and also because at that point I may be concerned that the preparation for K that most kids receive in preschool won't be there for this particular kid.

Not an issue for kids who get more than a year of preschool, but there are plenty who don't for a variety of reasons. Selective mutism is a special case because it will not emerge until a child is in some kind of classroom environment, and it's also hard for parents to spot because these kids talk at home so you really need the daycare or preschool teachers to be prepared to flag it. Some are better at this than others, and it can also depend on the environment.[/quote]

I have a kid with a language disorder.  It’s actually the opposite and sending on time opens them up to more academics and supports that a regular preschool will not provide.  Many parents take the approach to hold back with no supports or extra help. So you are only delaying help, which means the kids lose a year.

Many kids don’t go to preschool and it’s fine.  Part of the prep is parents working with their kids at home.

Selective mutism would start at home with unknown visitors and when you go out.  You’d see it before. [/quote]
DP
You might "see it" but many parents would not recognize it, and you also wouldn't get a diagnosis.

That being said I agree with you that in this particular case, the impulse of redshirting is coming from well meaning parents but it does not actually help the child (and you are putting them in a class with younger kids for their entire school career, which is most likely not appropriate for them).[/quote]

How can you NOT see a langauge disorder (except if its exclusively receptive language or auditory processing and even then you see your kid not responding)?  Its one thing for parents who aren't educated, have issues themselves, etc. but that's not the population holding back their kids.  I could see something wrong at around 8 months.  I got blown off for many months by doctors and we did private speech at 18 months till I could find doctors who would believe us and help/advocate for insurance to pay.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics