Reply to Be honest- what do you think about women who are content to be just wives and mothers?

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[quote=Anonymous]Was thinking about this thread last night during a conversation with my DH about our retirement plans. We are still in our 40s and won't be fully retiring until closer to 60, and I think I'll probably want to work in some capacity even past that because I think some kind of work is good for mental health (including the unpaid work of caring for children).

My DH will qualify for a pension at 51, though. His/our plan is to take his pension as soon as he qualifies, and then shift into a job he likes more or with less responsiblity/stress -- with his pension he can take a much lower paying job without impact his income.

But as we get closer to this point, he has become more and more burnt out on work and I can see the toll it's taking on him. I suggested last night that maybe he take a year or two off after he gets his pension, before moving into some other kind of work. I suggested he could focus on our DC, who will be in middle school at that point, and not worry about making money since between my income and his pension, we'll still be in very good shape.

I thought he'd push back against this, the idea of being a SAHD for a bit. But he kind of lit up about it. He loves his family and I think the idea of focusing on his kid and planning meals and doing stuff around the house sounded good to him. I get it. I SAHMed for 2 years after DC was born. I found it rewarding and a needed reset on my career, which at the time was quite stressful and not very personally rewarding. I could see a similar experience being really good for DH in the same way it was good for me.

So the premise of this thread -- that we should judge women who are happy to "just" be wives and mothers -- strikes me as inherently suspect. I doubt anyone will judge my DH for spending couple years taking care of our kid and tending to the house. In fact I bet many of you who are scolding women for doing this would applaud him for it. Because there is nothing wrong with just wanting to focus on your kids and your family. Assuming you can financially afford to have someone at home, there are a lot of reasons why it can work well for a family.

Human being should be allowed to do what they want with their lives, assuming they can find a way to make it work. Caring for children, families, and homes is vital work that many people do for a living anyway. Why woud I judge ANYONE for deriving personal satisfaction from these important, necessary jobs within they own families? What a weird impulse.[/quote]

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