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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What bothers me is not the specific things she said. Even the "kill yourself" comments, while vile and indefensible, wouldn't be enough to make me write her off if it was just once and she clearly didn't mean it literally (everyone makes mistakes).

Nope, what grosses me out is the whole infrastructure of her personality. I have met people like this. They treat people that they view as "above" them, or on their level, incredibly well. They are world class ass kissers. Sometimes they are great at this kind of connecting behavior -- oh let me introduce you to my amazing stylist, oh hey we know the manager at that place let me get you a good table, etc. It's all designed to ensure that the people they have deemed to matter like them.

And then they treat the people they deem below them like trash. I think sometimes it's self-protective, like if they can destroy people who they believe to be a rung or two lower, that will improve their standing. But I also think it's a weird flex, like they are testing to see how powerful they are. If I tell one of the people above me that one of the people below me is trash, will they take my word for it? If I complain to the manager at this restaurant, will that waiter be punished and will I get a comped meal? They are trying to figure out where they rank and this is one way to do it.

To me, this might be the most toxic behavior I've ever encountered that wasn't illegal. It's just this zero sum approach to life. And there are no real values other than power and clout. When they are kind, it has no real meaning except that they think you have more power than them. And when they are cruel, it's not really even personal (though I'm sure it feels that way), it's based entirely on this mental calculation they've made about which people are worth treating well and which are not.

It's not that she said a terrible thing once ten years ago. It's that she has a pattern of behavior where she treats people who are more famous or more powerful well, and people who are less famous or powerful like garbage. She is soulless.[/quote]

Nailed it. These people are called narcissists..and they never ever change. They don’t have the capacity for true self reflection and reform, which is why her apologies ring hollow. They are completely fake and people buying it don’t know how narcissists operate.[/quote]

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