Reply to Can someone explain the mindset of a cheater?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]If you're looking for an argument, I don' have one to give. I never said I am altruistic. My cheating is only about me and my desire to have sex. It has nothing to do with her except that she started this ball rolling by completely closing the door to sex. That is all about her just as this is all about me. My wants and happiness is not all that counts. I do what I can to keep her happy and by most every measure, she is happy. And she is very happy to never have sex again and to not have me make an issue of it anymore. Maybe she will come around some day and we can resume. I'm not counting on it but I'll be ready if it happens. The same if she even brings it up and says she wants to work on it. I'll stop cheating immediately and help work it out. There are zero signs of that happening but the door is always open. I'd still rather have sex with my wife than anyone else. Even half as much as I'm getting now. 
I'm not cheating her out of her future. She chooses a future that includes a sexless marriage and I'm dealing with that in my own way. I'm not cheating her out of anything in the present that she wants.[/quote]

Bluntly, you are a selfish, narcissistic axxhole. Men like you remind me how grateful I am to have a husband who is truly a good person with integrity as a partner and parent to my kids.  [/quote]
I appreciate your bluntness and I'm happy that you appreciate your husband for the great guy he is.  So does my wife, believe it or not.  The difference is, I'm guessing you still have sex with your husband also.  So if you appreciate him so much, this being Saturday night and all, give him an extra special BJ for no apparent reason.  He'll appreciate you even more and he will never cheat.  I envy you both.

[quote]The bottom line is you have a massive character defect and that's all on you and has nothing to do with your wife or how much sex she is interested in having with you.  You are not a good partner or even parent, of course she has no interest in sleeping with you.  That's a result of your character defect, not the cause of it.[/quote]You don't have a clue how I am as a partner or parent.  You only know I'm a cheat.  And you really have no clue why my wife's libido has shut down although, from reading this board, it's seems to be a lot more common than I thought.  In the end, I'm just another married guy who can't have sex with his wife.  I know that many of you feel that my best choice, for myself and her, is to divorce.  Respectfully, from someone who is living the situation, I disagree.  My best choice for now is exactly what I'm doing.  10 years from now?  Who knows?  I take it a day at a time.[/quote]

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