Reply to Am I wrong for refusing to host BIL?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You aren't wrong, but you need marriage counseling ASAP. You have a husband problem. Refusing to host an addict, however "harmless" others may perceive him to be is an appropriate choice.[/quote]

For those in the back, once again, OP never said her BIL is an addict, or an alcoholic.  Her definition of "excessive drinking" is "a few beers a day."  [/quote]

It doesn't actually matter. OP doesn't want to host her BIL, who drinks a few beers a day. She said no, her wishes should be respected. If she feels he drinks too much to stay in her home, then he drinks too much to stay in her home.

I have a sibling who is in recovery and he doesn't host anyone in his home who isn't willing to abstain from alcohol altogether because it's bad for his recovery. I support him in that, even though I do sometimes drink alcohol. People get to decide for themselves what level of drinking is okay in their house, and OP has determined that her BIL drinks too much to stay in her home.

You are getting hung up on this because it's very important to you that "a few beers a day" not be deemed "excessive." Ask why that part of this story is so critical to you when no one else cares and is focused on the fact that OP said no and is now being guilted into giving in. It's that part that matters, not how OP defines alcoholism.[/quote]

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