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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I agree with those who constructively say that you are longing to help children grow and to nurture them.

I think it would help you to do some more people-centric volunteering.  Something based on your skills etc. as a mom and perhaps as a professional.  There are a variety of possibilities.

I had 2 boys.  I am basically fine with that.  But I really wanted to help a little girl with all the pitfalls of being female that I faced.  I hope I get daughter-in-laws and that they like me.  I'm not counting on it but that is my hope for filling the small gap where a daughter might have been.  I came from a matriarchy with a large cohort of girl cousins so I miss how my young life was a little bit.

I can also say my younger kid is less sweet and does stress my husband out.  If birth order was reversed, perhaps he would have been my only.[/quote]

I think far more women have pangs of regret regarding the fact that they did not have a daughter. Having a daughter is a much different experience when it comes to mothering than having only boys. I think this regret is far more common than not having enough kids.[/quote]

I have 2 boys, no regrets here. Yes, it might have been nice to have “one of each.” But honestly having boys at this point seems like being on easy mode. My younger boy has autism and is very quiet. And he just gets to be an autistic kid. The other boys don’t care too much at all because he runs around with everyone at recess and PE and can talk about Legos and Minecraft. And my older boy is a good student, good influence at school, hard worker, and plays his instrument plus 2 other instruments that he mostly is self-taught on because he just really likes music. And he is gassed up INCESSANTLY by the teachers at his school and even other parents for behavior that is just “regular” for girls. He’s like a super star, it’s insane. I did all that stuff and more as a middle schooler and no one gave a F because people have always expected girls to be 110% perfect. I don’t have to manage their social lives or make friends with the “right” moms to encourage the “right” friendships. I don’t have to buy the “right” clothes other than just whatever Nike/Adidas/etc. that I can get at TJ Maxx half the time. It’s really quite remarkable vs. my own lived experience as a girl/young woman/adult.

I fully intend to be not an insane MIL if my kids ever get married or have kids. I was very close to both sets of grandparents growing up. My extended family on my mom’s side was indeed more close-knit, but that was more just personalities and people living closer. [/quote]

I have one boy and having a girl sounds like a nightmare if that’s what it entails. I’ve always been a tomboy myself and probably neurodivergent and I simply would not participate in any of that shallow nonsense and hopefully be able to teach my daughter not to either. [/quote]

I have a daughter and a son and this is NOT what having a girl entails. It’s actually really bizarre and stereotypical. Girls present in so many different ways. My daughter doesn’t care about labels, I’ve never had to socially engineer friendships or plot to make friends with certain moms. My daughter is an athlete, an actor, and a complex human being, just like other girls, who should not be simplified to gender stereotypes. It’s actually disgusting and sexist to do that.[/quote]

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