Reply to Secrets to remaining married to narcissist and keeping inner happiness?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Also, yes, we don’t want to leave our kids with someone with a personality disorder who is disregulated for half the time.  I want to protect kids. I also am financially independent so it is not about the money to the PP.

My strategy so far is to disengage. Not explain. Not reason. Focus on my lane. See friends. Go out. Have a life.[/quote]

How old are your kids? Something that helps me is thinking I only have X number of years that I have to deal with this and then we can separate. Haven’t decided on the exact number… Figure by the time they are 18 custody won’t be an issue, so there’s that. Not sure if it makes sense to stay till they’re just a little older and mostly through college. But knowing that there is an insight, even if it’s not super close, might be helpful. [/quote]

I do the same thing. 10 years until our youngest goes to college, then I'm out.  It gives me a lot of peace to know that there is an end and I'm already planning for it.  In the interim, I'm trying to plan solo trips in 2026.  It helps to have things to look forward to. For me, it's a big cycling trip for my birthday that I’ve always wanted to do, and taking my kids on a rafting trip this summer, and visiting a friend for a beach trip in the fall. None of these will include DH, so these are my moments. [/quote]

If you are married to a narcissist, how are you able to do these trips? Especially with relatively young kids. I can’t even get away for a night. [/quote]

I’m not that poster, but I just throw my kids in the car and go.  He might be mad when I get back, but he might be mad if I had to work late or I left the sidewalk chalk out on the driveway.   When you get mad about everything, it loses some of its power.  [/quote]

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