Reply to How do I handle questions and judgment about not working when the real reason is private?

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[quote=Anonymous]I'm the pp sahm doing absolutely nothing.

Answering the question from other women was always a challenge to me.  Sure, I don't really want to be best friends with a judgy mom questioning my lifestyle choices, but also... I don't know her.  Don't want to take a chance on hurting her feelings.  My baseline assumption is we're all doing our best for our families.

I had the luxury and privilege to to live exactly the life I wanted, and that worked best for my family. That may be rare.  But I never thought my best life was someone else's best life.  Different needs, abilities, talents, interests, etc.

It always seemed impossible to answer the question seriously without participating, at least peripherally, in the mommy wars.

OP:  maybe you can adapt my strategy used with a very good but very bossy friend.  Smile, kinda nod, let her keep talking....telling me what to do and how to do it. Later my friend is always surprised I haven't actually followed her advice, but after years of this, just thinks I'm really flakey.  But she likes me a lot.

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