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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You sound mean to the kid.  "The kid that is not mine..." who talks about stepkids like that?  You tone in talking about them drips with contempt.  They're a kid, for goodness sake.[/quote]

He’s not my stepchild, so referring him to him on that way wouldn’t make sense.  I was struggling to figure out a way to refer to him, and someone else used that phrasing.

I wish I had given both kids fake names in the OP, but given that so many people don’t read every post, I feel like doing that later doesn’t work.

I don’t feel contempt for him.  I love him, but I acknowledge that I love the kid I raised from birth more, and that makes it challenging because I try to be really careful to be fair.

This is something I don’t think I would hesitate to do if it was my two bio kids.  But I hear people saying it’s different.
[/quote]

You need to be careful to be unfair and bias toward your (“not”, what the heck?!) stepchild,  because your love your birth child more.[/quote]

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