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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am still confuse as to why this is the one area where it’s considered okay to give unsolicited advice.

If your daughter responded by telling you about a “new salon that’s really great with hair like yours, like they work miracles” or offering you the number of a plastic surgeon who is “really great with aging skin” would that be okay?

Whenever my mean immigrant mother in law critiqued my weight I wanted to respond by offering the name of a tutor or someone who tutored in remedial English. [/quote]
Having an unattractive hairstyle or wrinkled skin or speaking English imperfectly doesn’t impact the functionality of your body, increase your risk for many different diseases or shorten your lifespan like obesity does. It may be a terrible idea for a mother to discuss weight gain with her daughter, but a significant weight gain does present a threat to her daughter’s health, and mothers worry about their children’s health, even if their children are adults.[/quote]

I disagree.  The subtext is still "I don't like the way you are and therefore I like you less.  I would like you more if you were different."  And you know what?  That's true for many adult children as well.  "Hon, how bout we set you up with a subscription for Stitch Fix.  Those capri pants really aren't doing you any favors."[/quote]
Just because that’s how it [i]feels[/i] to hear that a loved one is concerned about your weight doesn’t mean that the loved one doesn’t have legitimate health concerns. This is an emotional minefield. OP has to judge whether the slight chance of a positive impact on her dd’s health is worth the potential (and far more likely) negative impact on her relationship with her dd if such a conversation were to take place. Probably the benefit doesn’t outweigh the risk.[/quote]

I just wholeheartedly do not believe that anyone who is overweight is unaware of it and needs a loved one to point it out.[/quote]

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