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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My DH is currently spiraling now. It’s bad. I know he doesn’t want to be here anymore. He’s emotionally abusive to me, angry all the time, and absent as much as he can be. Meanwhile, I’m trying to keep the kids, house and my own work going. It’s depressing.[/quote]

This is mine- I could have written it except mine has turned on the kids. I’m talking to lawyers now because I can’t believe the 180 he’s taken. He used to be happy and fun!

He’s so angry and even when he’s physically present, he’s absent and mad when asked to engage. We have elementary aged kids and I don’t understand how anyone can be angry and checked out with kids that are at such a fun and capable age but still cute and charming. And yet he is. And he thinks everyone is making him like this instead of seeing it as a choice he’s made. [/quote]

NP here and exact same situation. [/quote]

I can’t put into words how much it means to see these replies. I really and truly thought it was just me and it was maybe even my fault. [/quote]

OK but why not think harder about how to help DH overcome his psychological crisis rather than just filing for divorce?[/quote]

I think all of these posts are indicating that the DHs don’t believe they are in a psychological crisis, but that the crisis is being caused by those around them or by their job or whatever. They don’t even recognize any internal responsibility for their misery.[/quote]

Yes. My DH adamantly denies that there is anything wrong with HIM. The problem is with the rest of us (me, the kids), people at his job, wider society, and so on. If other people would just do (or not do) x y and z then he would be happy. And that he is just here for the ride, a victim of everyone else, nothing to do with him at all. And this is a man with a great career, plenty of $, beautiful home, wife who loves him, great kids who don’t have any real difficulties…really no tangible or material problems in his life. And all of his complaints are within HIS power to fix but he doesn’t see it that way. [/quote]

The cognitive dissonance required to see things this way is astounding. No wonder they’re tired given the amount of mental energy they’re expending.[/quote]

What way is someone else supposed to see it as? Stupid incel posts that say nothing. You think somehow everyone else and the entire world need to change and not this guy? Not going to happen. People need to find their own peace.[/quote]

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