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Reply to "16 year old bf/gf - supervision"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I keep condoms and plan b accessible in my house from the start of high school onward. Young teens need stay in common areas or bedrooms with doors open (small house so not a lot privacy regardless) when a parent is home and older teens can have a bit more privacy with shutting the door and hanging out without parents home. Ask for nothing sexual to happen when anyone else is home and to always shut/lock the door if it is going to happen.

This comes after years of positive sex ed and discussions of consent & repercussions of sex. Telling my kids they need to wait until they feel safe and mature enough to engage in sex. Preventing your child from having sex in a safe environment doesn’t stop them. Giving boundaries and teaching teens how to be safe and respectful is the best way to parent. If your teen wants to have sex they will and they will do it wherever they are able to. If you are unwilling to accept that you aren’t mature enough to parent teens.

And not that it matters but my teen isn’t sexually active yet. But they know how to be safe and keep a partner safe. And they have friends with sexually repressed parents who come to them for condoms and once for a plan b. [/quote]

So I DO have sexually active teens and I disagree with most of this, not philosophically (I would have felt it was reasonable in theory, before I was in this situation) but in practice.  I am not ok with my 16 yo having sex and do not want it happening in my home, whether I am here or not. It's too young. It's too risky because they are so young and in some ways, clueless. I feel similarly about smoking marijuana - it's not evil or a terrible, but it's a bad idea at this age and I'm not going to provide a venue for it.

The biggest problem is you cannot count on the other kid's family sharing your values, at all. You can only manage your own kid, to the extent you can. But it makes it very risky.
[/quote]

If they are sexually active where do you expect them to have sex? In the woods, parking lot at Walmart, school bathroom? That is more risky than doing it while nobody is at home.[/quote]

I don’t think they should be having sex, and my expectation is they don’t. Where has it happened? I think in cars, parks, on school/club trips, maybe at someone else’s house. I realize I can’t stop them if they’re motivated but providing them my own house at this age is unacceptable to me. I think they’d just have more sex.[/quote]

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