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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
DS (my oldest) started K last fall. We were relatively new to the area and I was excited to use school as an opportunity to meet other parents.  Over the course of the school year, there were 2 families that we ended up connecting with and having our kids do some playdates. There were other parents that I met throughout the year who I liked, but sometimes it did not seem like they were interested in connecting (e.g., if they had older kids and a busy schedule). At times it felt a bit like I was back in high school trying to navigate the social scene...not something I've felt I had to do in years!

I'd love to hear about other people's experiences connecting with other parents (particularly interested in the early elementary school years).

Specifically:
- How old are your kids and how many other parents/families would you say that you are close to or that your kids have regular playdates with?
- How long did it take to get to the point of feeling like you were actually friends?
- Are you someone who tends to initiate playdates? How do you decide when a good time to ask would be? Personally I tend not to initiate, or I might say something like "it would be great to have a playdate sometime" without actually scheduling something, as I'm not sure if the other person is interested.
-  Any advice for someone who is eager to make friends, but understands that everyone is busy or may already have enough people in their lives?

[/quote]

All of this varies tremendously. My eldest is going into 1st in the Fall (same age as your child) and I also have two younger children who will be in half day preschool (4’s and 2’s classes; the 4 yo will be in school 25 hours/week and the youngest will be in school 6 hours). My husband and I both work, so we rely on our nanny to initiate most play dates during the week. I initiate a few playdates for one of my children during the week and then do a lot for my oldest child over the weekend. We also try to coordinate activities and camps with friends and siblings’ activities.

For friends, it really depends on personalities and as the kids get older, overlap in school or activities.

I initiate playdates for my oldest if I like the other mom. Some moms in my oldest child’s class are really snobby (we are at an expensive private outside NYC) and standoffish. My oldest child will be going into year 3 at their school in the fall, so I’ve accepted that this is how it is and have moved on. There are a lot of great moms that I like hanging out with and consider good acquaintances but maybe not quite friends.

If you are making friends through your kids and not on your own your kids are going to drive who you are spending time with a lot of the time. You’ll initiate play dates based on who your child wants to play with or that’s what I do. If my child doesn’t get along with another child then I’m not going to set up a play date with that child’s mom because that would be messed up. [/quote]

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