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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have a husband who went to therapy for years for anger management. Part of the deal was the therapist asked me to come in alone a few times a year or the therapist would call me to get a read on his current behavior. 
I wonder why his therapist doesn’t want to meet with you alone.
Seems there is something else you don’t realize: he is lying to therapist, telling therapist you are the problem, he is having an affair and that’s why he is having a temper tantrum and then leaving…..
If your husband disagreed with you calmly, you would start asking questions about why he is leaving and where he is going…….[/quote]

I don’t think it’s an affair - I have checked into that thoroughly, but I do think he is lying to the therapist. I think it’s a lot of childhood trauma/horrible upbringing, but I am sure he’s telling his therapist that he is fine. He doesn’t seem to want to do the work.

Leaving is easier said than done. My kids love him. I love him. We would have to move and uproot their lives and 90% of the time he’s great. [/quote]

How can you say that when your kids are in therapy because of his behavior?  Having an abusive upbringing will affect them for LIFE. [/quote]

Yeah, this.

The 10% of the time that my ‘father’ was an abusive prick resulted in four adult children who struggle with substance use disorder, mental health issues, broken marriages and/or avoidance of marriage and parenthood altogether.

Your husband is probably really messing up your kids, and I’m fairly sure the day with come where your kids will be angry at you for making them grow up with him because money and convenience and fear of breaking out of the toxic norm you’ve grown used to. At least that’s what happened in my family.[/quote]

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