Reply to My therapist says I am codependent with adult children

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[quote=Anonymous]If you kids are capable of picking out paint or buying a car alone, but want to have you there because they enjoy spending time with you and value your input, I think that sounds nice.

Co-dependent would be if they are are incapable making decisions without you or if you get upset when you are not included.

There are a lot of “adulting” type things in your 20s where it helps to have another adult around in you are single. I test drove cars by myself when I was 24, but I brought my dad with me when I was making the purchase. Before I was married, I often brought my dad or a male friend with me to the mechanic for my previous beater car or if I was having a repair person in my home so that they don’t think I’m a dumb girl or vulnerable. When you have movers, it helps to have someone inside and someone by the truck watching. I am not super close or inseparable from my parents, but when I have lived locally to them, I absolutely included them in major events like moving or large purchases.

I would not worry unless you think the amount of time they spend with you is hindering their ability to live independently and eventually have their own family. I would not worry about your closeness to them unless it’s an issue where you can’t let go or back off once they have a spouse and their own kids. [/quote]

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