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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I’m sorry you’re getting so much grief here. I think everyone is right about not just not participating in gossip but actively helping to shut it down when you can.

I get your feelings. My sister is wealthy and educated, in her 40s, and refuses to wear a seatbelt or buckle her kids into car seats. They have car seats, but the preschoolers sit in them unbuckled. I’m afraid for them because she also messed with her phone while driving, mostly talking but also texting and messing with maps. I’ve literally been on the phone with her while she was driving and hear her tell her 2yo to get out of their seat and pick up  a toy that was dropped because she couldn’t reach it. If someday, god forbid, she has an accident and her children are killed especially if it’s due to her poor driving and their lack of proper restraints, I suppose all the PPs here would say I shouldn’t judge her. That’s nonsense. I won’t say to her that she FAFO at the funeral, but sometimes a child’s death is a direct cause of the parent's neglect. I like to think I could rise above saying that to her ever, but I’m human and I know how angry I already am that she endangers her kids.

I dont blame parents for every little thing, but yeah, sometimes people make really bad choices with quite predictable life threatening consequences. It sounds like OP’s nephew’s hobby was quite dangerous, and I thinn it’s normal to feel some judgment and anger toward her sister. I also think it’s smart to have a plan for what she’ll say when people approach her with judgmental comments so she can respond appropriately. [/quote]

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