Reply to “She’s like one of the guys”

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have a lot of guy friends (but also girl friends) so I've probably had this said about me. I get along with guys, can talk about sports or their relationships, and I'm basically unthreatening. I'm reasonably attractive but not overtly sexy. When I meet their girlfriends or wives, I'm welcoming. If I were an incel, I'd say I get friend-zoned, but in my case, friend zone is just fine. [/quote]

Yes, I like having male and female friends. There was a period of time in my late 20s when I especially liked make friendship because it asked so little of me. I could meet a friend at a bar, we could watch a game and have a couple drinks, and talk about nothing for a couple hours, and then go home. That was a time when I felt like a lot of my girlfriends just wanted to talk so much about relationships, dating, friend drama, etc. I had a stressful job and my own love life was going very poorly with a string of unserious relationships that went nowhere, some with guys who weren't that nice to me. It was a relief to have friends who didn't want to rehash every detail, didn't need me to validate them, never compared themselves to me (in flattering or unflattering ways), and were ok doing low-key things that didn't involve getting dressed up and trying to meet people.

I held onto the guy friends from that era and they remain some of my closest friends. I also have close female friends who I appreciate for other reasons. But back then, being one of the guys meant they'd call me to go watch baseball on a Tuesday over beer and all I had to show up and be myself.

I think women could learn something from male friendship. I wish I could have such low effort friendships with women. I think it would be good for us![/quote]

You either didn't know how to pick your female friends or hold women to higher standards, which leads you to find women to be worst friends, even if they're not. I'm "one of the guys" and also have many female friends. Never had issues with them that I wouldn't have with my male friends, which weren't common either.[/quote]

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