Reply to If you don’t like your child’s spouse, please keep it to yourself!

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]When a MIL is nasty or has a Jekyll and Hyde thing going on with the DIL - the reason is often because the MIL sees everything she is not in the DIL.

The DIL is everything that MIL is not, and the MIL knows that and resents that.

Ladies that are going through this - take that as a compliment - your DH chose you for that reason - exactly because you are the opposite of his horrendous MIL. Your DH is fully aware of how terrible his mom is - he picked you on purpose!

[/quote]

This is really gross and just confirms what I suspect when I read all of the MIL hate on this board.  Women being the worst and competing with who will be the boss, #1 woman in the husband/son's heart.  Its not a competition!  Mom will always be mom and the wife is the woman he chose to marry.  I sometimes feel sorry for the men in these situations because it must suck to be in the middle of such ridiculousness.[/quote]

Trust me as the DIL I do not see it as a competition but my MIL sure did and wow didn't she make life very uncomfortable in the first few years.  I did try to deal directly with MIL so DH was not in the middle however my MIL went to my DH and told him outright lies about what was being said. I didn't even realise this was happening at first. In the end DH had to step in and tell MIL to back off which she did.  If MIL had of sorted it out with me, DH would never have been in the middle however for people like this their goal isn't to work anything out with you, their goal is to undermine you.  At the end of the day MIL didn't like me, I could have been Mother Teresa to her and she would have still found fault.

I don't know what I was suppose to do when MIL ran to DH telling him I tried to assault her.  An outright lie, it was so amazingly horrific that I didn't see my MIL for two years after that and still 20 years later refuse to be alone with her. This is why MIL's get a bad name because it's quite common behaviour for them.

Unless you have experienced it it's hard to believe how low some of these MIL's will go.  My MIL even asked what I did to cause my miscarriage - sometimes it's not ridiculousness but a need to protect yourself from really cruel heartless people who will kick you when you are down and the trouble is being an in-law you can't walk away from them entirely.  It's best to find a middle ground.  Spouses have to help each other, it's not that the men are in the middle its that if the family wants to try to stay together to some degree the MIL won't listen to the spouse at all so the DH has to step in.  Believe me, I tried everything, MIL didn't stop until DH got angry and told her enough was enough.[/quote]

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