Reply to How do you get an affair/relationship started with another married person?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]People who are so quick to condemn have never really been there.

I'm married over 20 years to a wonderful woman.  We are best friends.  We both love and support each other.  We hold hands, kiss, snuggle in bed.  Just nothing genital.  Although I was sexually active with other women before I met her, we (more she) wanted to wait until we were married.  But I noticed early on that she wasn't really into it.  She just doesn't enjoy sex.  Oh, she participated early on, I guess out of a sense of obligation.  But I could tell she wasn't enjoying it, and her lack of pleasure increasingly impacted my pleasure, and it all gradually faded away.  No sex for nearly ten years.  I've resorted to self service, but I want to give pleasure as much or more as receive it.  And after an almost happened with a professional colleague at a conference, I've come to the conclusion that I should have an affair.  If I can have love with my wife without the sex, then maybe love an sex are not necessarily the same thing for every person, and I can have sex for its own sake.  I can not ask to open the marriage because I know her well enough to know that simply asking would destroy the marriage.

Cheating is wrong.  But it is also wrong for her to deny me, as much as it is wrong for me to deny myself.  And it is wrong to walk away from an otherwise great marriage.  Often in life, there is no right, but merely having to choose the lesser wrong.
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Have you TALKED to your wife about this?  At least then she will be less confused when you step out on her.[/quote]

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