Reply to How many women here divorced primarily due to imbalanced, unsustainable home workload?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Question - "How many women here divorced primarily due to imbalanced, unsustainable home workload?"

None.  It is a staffing issue, not a relationship one. Not a problem, just an expense.

[/quote]

I'm all for outsourcing for cooking, cleaning, landscaping, etc but that's only part of it.

A housekeeper doesn’t fix the mental load, the planning, the remembering, the emotional labor, or the resentment that builds when one person is treated like the default parent or manager of all the things.

Calling it “just an expense” is a lazy way to avoid accountability. And yeah, it’s a problem.[/quote]

As a counterpoint, I am the default pare t and manager of all things, but DH makes about 3x what I make, and works really hard (on his computer at 4 am most days), so I don't mind.  If we earned the same and I was the default parent and manager of all things, I would be resentful. [/quote]

My spouse has adhd and also makes a lot of money. But he’s on his computer at 4am because that’s his safe place and he’s inefficient. [/quote]

I'm the PP.  Frankly, I have no idea what he's doing on his computer at 4 am or 11 pm.  I just know that I need to get through the next x years with him to finish raising our kids, and it helps to assume the best.  Once the kids are out of the house, I am done.  We have so many issues under the surface, and I can't wait for the day when I can live alone and only take care of my own needs.  I've spent my entire adult life caretaking him and our kids, and when they leave, provided I have good health, I'm going to travel where I want, eat what I want, have good sex, laugh, and spend as much time with friends as I want.  [/quote]

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