Reply to Be honest- what do you think about women who are content to be just wives and mothers?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am kind of jealous. I think in many ways they have a much easier life because is simpler.

I somewhat enjoy my career but mostly view it as an ends to a mean. I find watching young children to be tedious and boring. Working is easier and I get paid.

My interests include working out, skiing, hiking, traveling, socializing and other activities. I don’t find playing with young kids to be fun. I could enjoy being a 1950s housewife where the kids play outside while mom keeps house. But today’s SAHM who is a glorified nanny? No thanks.

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Honest question -- why have kids? Why not just say, I don't really like kids and am taking a pass? Life would be a lot easier without that massive ball and chain.[/quote]

Because it’s nice having a family. I don’t dislike kids.  I simply don’t want to spend the majority of my time watching young kids and doing things like playing legos.

Most wealthy people have full time help especially for childcare. [b]Your average middle class SAHM is lying to you about enjoying staying home with kids.[/b] It’s simply better than the mediocre low paying job she had pre-kids.

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The fact that it is so important to you to believe the bolded makes me sad for you and for society at large.

Some people really do enjoy kids, enjoy spending time with small kids and doing things with them. There are downsides, as there are with virtually any job. But some people like it.

I SAHMed from when my first was born until my youngest was 3. Some of the best years of my life. I'm a lawyer. I worked in firms prior to becoming a SAHM and liked my job, but was ready for a change of pace, plus had very difficult pregnancies and needed a break. I loved playing with my kids, loved how physical they are at that age, all the snuggles and pats and tickles. I loved seeing the world through their eyes, fielding their questions about people and society and science and art, asked totally without pretense or cynicism. I loved doing art projects or learning about space with them. It's super cheesy, but I feel I learned so much from them.

I also loved the downtime of being a SAHM. I read books and wrote in my journal while they napped or played on their own. The rhythms of being a SAHM meant I slept more and ate better, in part because I was focused on them sleeping and eating well and in so doing took better care of myself. I liked taking them to cultural events (museums, concerts, music classes, etc.). Some of it was kid-focused and that can get tedious at time, but I also took them to classical music concerts and art museums, and have cultivated those interest in them.

I also loved, after years of being beholden to partners and clients, being my own boss. I decided our schedule, our priorities. It was so liberating. I decided when and how we potty trained, what to feed my kids, our policy on screens. My DH participated in these choices but I had the last say with everything because I was the one who would be implementing it 90% of the time.

I don't think being a SAHM is the same once the kids are in school, and I was ready to go back to paid work by then. But being a SAHM ruined me for being a desk jockey. I run my own business now, consulting for small and mid-size business on strategic issues related to my old legal practice. I make my own hours, can be picky about clients, and take most of the summer off. I never would have had the guts to do this if I hadn't quit to SAHM for those years. It made me realize how much bigger the world is, and what ACTUALLY matters. Most of the stuff we do professionally doesn't really matter. Some of it does -- my relationships with clients matter, I care about helping organizations solve problems, and the money I make pays for things that matter. But sitting in an office, going to meetings, promotions and office politics? This matters no more than children play acting the same stuff with dolls (which they do). I seek to minimize those meaningless aspects of modern work as much as I can.

The fact that you think someone like me doesn't exist, and that caring for young kids, even your own young kids, could not possibly be interesting or fulfilling, is fascinating for me. I don't think everyone should SAHM or that you have to SAHM to be a good mom. But I LOVED it, and I'm a smart, accomplished, well-read, and well-educated person. Sorry to burst your bubble.[/quote]

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