Reply to Millennial women are saying no thanks to parenthood

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Having kids simply isn't worth it. It's a huge pain and requires way too much sacrifice. Add in the the costs on top of that and it's a huge mess.
When people ask me about parenting and having kids I tell them if you really want to do it then have one kid. But really it's better not to have any. It's staggering the impact my children have had on our household wealth.[/quote]

+100000 I deeply regret having children. It’s a lot of work with little reward. I admit in theory it’s nice having a family of four. But I’ve lost so much because of children. They ruined my body, I can’t travel freely, lost friendships, less money to spend on myself, have to live in a neighborhood with good schools or spend $100k on privates, etc. They are rarely enjoyable to be around as they constantly whine, complain and require me to do things. It’s constant work and even a good man will try to get you to do the bulk of the work. If I want to do something fun I have to schedule it on the family calendar so my husband is home. IT BLOWS. [/quote]

[b]I actually have had a different experience in that I love having kids and the compromises (less travel, way less spending money, more family activities vs individual activities) have been well worth it to me. [/b]That said, I do think a lot of this is my personality and what brings me happiness and that this is not universal. I think it is good that women are actually considering what would make them feel happy and fulfilled before stepping into motherhood.

One thing I don’t love is that women who do want kids and would gladly give up the travel and late nights out with friends feel they can’t afford to have kids even with both spouses working full time. We’ve made becoming a parent incredibly expensive and exhausting (esp for women).

I live outside a medium sized non coastal city in an area that is very family oriented which makes raising kids a lot easier. When I hear how much money you all have to make and how many activities and programs people on this site are signing kids up for to give them a baseline normal (for the area) childhood experience, I’m shocked. I can see why becoming a parent seems impossibly difficult and it’s no wonder some women are opting out. [/quote]

+1. It has been hard but my kids add so much to my life. Maybe I just don't mind doing child-oriented activities. I just feel like, what would DH and I even be doing at this point in our lives if we didn't have kids? It seems so boring. [/quote]

Right? Like, decades of trivia night at breweries and trying new brunch spots gets pretty monotonous, but that's all I see my childless friends doing. [/quote]
I didn't do any of those things when we were childless.  We traveled a lot outside of peak season, had dinner parties, went hiking, slept in late, and cooked whatever we wanted (spicy foods).

A lot of that changed once kids came. Now, that my kids are HS/college, we are slowly going back to how it was pre kids. Once the youngest leaves for college, we will once again be able to travel to wherever *we* want outside of peak season.  We are looking forward to it so much.[/quote]

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