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General Parenting Discussion
Reply to "Millennial women are saying no thanks to parenthood"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]Most liberal women under 40 have a mental illness / mental disease, according to Pew. [/b] This fact may help explain their reluctance to have children. [/quote] Link, please.[/quote] Google it.[/quote] You can’t provide a link because you made that up.[/quote] Except, I did not make it up. See the responses on the same page. Or google it. Here’s a clue: the study was conducted by the Pew foundation. Ever hear of them?[/quote] It’s true the data shows white liberal women are “more likely to seek mental health evaluations” which simply means they have access to healthcare.[/quote] The particular question I think says “have you ever been told by a healthcare provider that you have a mental health condition” which I feel like could include “you’re a little depressed” or “having some anxiety.” It doesn’t say “diagnosis.” That sounds like anyone who has talked to a therapist or a primary care doctor during Covid honestly. But also ironically I think a very high percentage of women who’ve had babies would be in that boat particularly if they had postpartum care from an OB because at a minimum you’re discussing the depression screener at the six week PP appointment. I’m a highly educated white liberal woman under 40 so like, [b]I did a PACE group [/b]and for sure I would answer yes because of discussing PPA/D symptoms which almost everyone has but I wouldn’t say I was diagnosed or even had PPA/D enough to need medical care but it’s kind of a spectrum. [/quote] Pace is terrible. I’m a highly educated woman and the navel gazing and lack of resilience by the women in the group was on another level. Women who acted traumatized because they had a child and then support group leaders who encouraged the hysterical behavior. I’d never seen anything like it. Originally I thought it was a way to make friends and socialize. No, it is a group support group for women and it encourages the idea that women should change and give up their lives once they have had kids. Go to a PACE group and you’ll easily see what’s wrong with modern day parenting. [/quote] That’s if you can even afford it, and have the time to go. I tried to sign up and by the time they got back to me I was heading back to work. They suggested I take time off to attend, like that was even possible. But then I couldn’t afford it anyway. [/quote] That happened to me too! I had diagnosed PPD and my doctor recommended PACE as a support group, but the organizer took forever to get back to me, then offered a spot in a group that was a 40 minute commute from my home and where only the 1st session would happen during my leave. And then was rude to me when I turned it down. I wound up going to a support group through the breastfeeding center even though I wasn't having issues with breastfeeding. I just went to meet other moms with babies because my doc thought it would help. Maybe it did? I think one issue with becoming a mom is that now that it's truly optional for women, we offer a lot less community support than we used to. It's so isolating now. [/quote] You likely dodged a bullet. PACE very much preaches the message that life is now over and you will suffer. For a woman with PPD, you likely would have benefited more by stepping out of the house for an hour to grab a coffee on your own. Not paying $600 to hear Suzy cry about having to watch her own baby. [/quote] [b]This is a very bizarre experience with PACE.[/b] I'm sure there are some dud leaders, but in my group every single woman but one was headed back to full time work after maternity leave and the one was part time in higher education. The leaders helped normalize things the at the time can feel overwhelming and strongly encouraged utilizing whatever supports you have available / need to NOT suffer. It is a lot of navel gazing, but early motherhood is a wild change for many / most women and between both the reality and the hormanes, it seems like an appropriate time to navel gaze. I was talking to a woman pregnant with her 4th today (i have 3) and we were discussing how the first seemed so hard and now it almost seems unimaginable that it was so hard (though we both remember it being so hard). She made the excellent point that prior to having her baby it had been decades since she'd ever had to learn something big and brand new and you have to do it at a time it feel it feels tremendously important you get it right, you're exhausted and recovering, your hormomes are going nuts, and your marriage is likely strained. That's a lot![/quote] +1. I thought PACE was fine, and most of the women were going back to work. Perhaps it self-selects for women who are having a hard time.[/quote] I was very much miserable in the first months of motherhood so PACE was the right vibe for me. I did have a friend in the class who later said “I was so happy but I felt like I couldn’t talk about it!” Mainly it was a way to get out of the house and meet other moms. We were definitely all typical DC working moms with the exception of one recent transplant (very young SAHM) but she seemed fully part of things. [/quote]
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