Reply to Can someone explain the mindset of a cheater?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]After reading all these posts, I feel like the people who aren't having sex by their own choice can never be happy for those who are having sex.  Those who have taken an AP are braggi g a bit, happy to be getti g it again while rubbing it in the face of those who wish them to be celibite.  It's like we live in two different worlds. A sex less world and one with sex. Drag someone into a world where they don't belong and they will scheme to escape to the other world. [/quote]

Not really.  I don't think the first part of this is true in that people not having sex can never be happy for those who are.  First, don't assume that people who object to cheating don't have sex.  That would be an incorrect assumption for sure.  Second, many cheaters are having sex with their spouses and so cheaters don't just cheat for no-sex situation at home.  Finally, even if it is a no-sex situation, there are other ways of dealing with it.  Not sure it's 2 different worlds either.  [/quote]

When one makes excuses to live a double life of cheating and lying to their family that person is solely to blame.

Get counseling, or get divorced and have all the sex you want. That's what the majority are trying to convey to you. Sadly, you are trying to spin it completely wrong to validate your bad and sick behavior. 
[/quote]Thanks but, I'm already having all the sex I want without having to go through all that.[/quote]

But you can go and date a lot of women if you're divorced. Also, you'll have plenty of time to date if you divorce since you'll have kids o only half the time.  Also, you would be doing the right thing as well.  Just move on.  Don't you have any sense of right and wrong?  Do you ever want to do the right thing or do you do it only when it can make you look bad otherwise?  [/quote]Thanks for your concern. I like my current arrangement. I'm not looking to date a bunch of women. Just have regular sex with one.  My W would be my first choice but she has chosen another path for us as far as sex goes. I have no desire to divorce her and I'm not "visiting" my children every other week.  This arrangement that you see as sick behavior  keeps our family and my marriage together.  [/quote]

Your response is only about you and your convenience.  Your wants and your happiness is all that counts.  Are you going to make sure that you won't divorce your wife later in life and keep her happy otherwise all the time, even after your kids leave home?  Are you going to be sure you won't have the "feels" for anyone else?  If so, more power to you.  Otherwise, you are cheating your wife out of her future.  Go have all the sex you want after divorce if you don't want to date anyone else.  Let your wife seek her future as well since you are already taking care of your now and future.  You are selfish, not altruistic.[/quote]If you're looking for an argument, I don' have one to give.  I never said I am altruistic.  My cheating is only about me and my desire to have sex.  It has nothing to do with her except that she started this ball rolling by completely closing the door to sex.  That is all about her just as this is all about me.  My wants and happiness is not all that counts.  I do what I can to keep her happy and by most every measure, she is happy.  And she is very happy to never have sex again and to not have me make an issue of it anymore.  Maybe she will come around some day and we can resume.  I'm not counting on it but I'll be ready if it happens.  The same if she even brings it up and says she wants to work on it.  I'll stop cheating immediately and help work it out.  There are zero signs of that happening but the door is always open.  I'd still rather have sex with my wife than anyone else.  Even half as much as I'm getting now. 
 I'm not cheating her out of her future. She chooses a future that includes a sexless marriage and I'm dealing with that in my own way.  I'm not cheating her out of anything in the present that she wants.[/quote]

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