Reply to Can someone explain the mindset of a cheater?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]^^what's expensive sex? Like it or not, you will risk loosing your marriage anytime you don't consider your spouse's needs. Its a gamble that most take.

Sex is what differentiates roommates from a marital relationship.--a woman. [/quote]

You are missing the point that many male cheaters have a healthy sex life at home.  They have mental issues like narcissism, alcohol, addiction and/or childhood trauma.

And, yes, those guys risk losing everything by not taking their spouse’s health, safety, and needs into consideration.[/quote]

Monogamy isn't an natural construct.  Its a cultural one intended to support raising children and securing lineage.  Because someone cheats doesn't mean they suffer from some substance/psychological issue.  They're probably just bored off their ass and tired of starfish sex.[/quote]

+1. Or the marriage is not great anyway and they are only staying for kids/finances and are already emotionally checked out. I think it is actually the rarity that they suffer from substance or psychological issues. Often, they are bored, emotionally checked out or their needs are not being met at home emotionally or sexually. I hate how people assume there must be other issues...it is because they don't want to be believe that they (the non-cheating spouse) could never be part of the problem of why they would seek needs elsewhere. The alternative is divorce. Some people do not want a divorce for various reasons.[/quote]

+2
Marriages are lasting longer than ever because of longevity. Staying married to the same person for 60+ years is a tall order for most normal humans. [/quote]

I think it can work for those who can see long term benefits.  It's always the same answer:  who can see the future and then be patient to work through the today to get to the goals wins (there have been some experiments with young kids that has shown that).  There are benefits to you later in life and also to the next generation in staying together.  Your happiness is on you and that is the realization that is a game changer.  Some of that is also lifecycles when happiness dips at some times and then goes up again over time.  Happiness typically rises over time anyway (after mid life) and so would you have become happier with time anyway if you hadn't divorced?   Just a different viewpoint to consider.[/quote]

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