Reply to If I had know this was the case, I probably wouldn't have married you.

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Reply to "If I had know this was the case, I probably wouldn't have married you."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]"To say "I want sex and you have to want it with me for it to be 'real'" is getting pretty needy. "

Actually, I disagree. The main reason I married my husband was because I wanted unlimited sex with him. Why did you marry your DH? For kids, money, love, security?[/quote]
Such a simple-minded rhetorical response.

You marry for many reasons, and theses shift in priority over time. Unless you very naively see marriage as a short-term, unchanging relationship, you don't marry solely or primarily for unlimited sex. You marry for love, compatibility, friendship, companionship, children, lifestyle, cultural expectations, etc., in addition to sex. These shift over time. Marriages that suffer suffer because one or both partners don't adjust to the inevitable changes that take place in a relationship that spans decades. There are a number of factors that reduce sex as a priority in the marriage, but children are probably the most significant. However, illness, injury, and stress (due to any number of factors) also reduce libido. I married for more than sex, and with an infant and young child, sex is low on my priority list. DH is high drive, but he's (mostly) understanding that this changes over the years.

The worst thing that an HD partner can do is get angry with the parent of young child who is LD. No one wants to have sex out of fear because one's partner is angry for lack of sex. Unfortunately, lust is such an acceptable emotion for many husbands (yes, husbands, mostly--but not exclusively) that it justifies the anger, even when one's wife is physically (e.g., because of breast-feeding) suffering from low libido. As a husband, you can ask your wife to stop BFing so that she will want to have sex with you. But, then you are putting your lust above the well-being of your child. Or you can make your wife feel bad for breast-feeding and not having a sex drive. Good luck. After carrying a baby for 9 months, childbirth, and breastfeeding, the least you can do is hold your frustration until BFing is over.[/quote]

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