Reply to No Kids at Wedding - Why So Much Anger?!

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]People have become so narcissistic. I guess I can understand it for people in their 20s. I got married at 25 and thought my wedding was a big deal (but didn’t exclude kids).  Now, pushing 50, I have more perspective. The chances to have the whole family/loved ones all together are few and far between. And nobody cares about a wedding being “perfect” - they won’t even remember it after a week. The fact that people don’t want children to “ruin” their day is sad. That just isn’t what it’s about. [/quote]

For most of us the exclusion of children is not because of the desire for a perfect wedding. For most of us, it destroys the reception budget. Keep pretending there is no cost per plate. [/quote]

PP you are responding to.  That's fair.  I personally would still prioritize nieces and nephews, young cousins, etc. over other guests I wasn't as close with, or change something else about the wedding to find room in the budget, but everyone has a right to do what they prefer.

In a way, excluding children transfers the expense to the guests in many cases.  You don't have to cover their cost per plate, but the parents then have to arrange for childcare, which for out-of-town weddings is pricy and nerve-wracking.  Unfortunately, many of us don't have relatives nearby who can keep our kids for a weekend.  Another result of modern life in the United States.
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It’s a party. RSVP yes or no. It’s not that deep. No need to have “wracked” nerves over a wedding invitation. It is an invitation, not a summons.

And by the way, some of us are fun and secure enough to go to a wedding on our own and leave our spouse home with the kids. I have a former grad school friend who got married in another state. I left DH home with the kids, went by myself, and celebrated not only the groom (my friend) and bride, but I got to catch up with other grad school friends, and meet new people. Don’t be insecure that you can’t operate socially without your spouse. If it is your cousin getting married, go and enjoy kid-free time with your family! When else will you be able to free-wheel a bit with your cousins and siblings? If it is DH’s co-worker getting married, he can go and have a great time with colleagues. Normalize being a secure person who has fun without your spouse and kids ALL the time.[/quote]

Nobody is getting their nerves wracked over a wedding invitation, but leaving my small children for 2-3 days was nerve-wracking for me at times.  I don't think that is unusual.  And it's funny to me that you're now bashing people who you deem not sufficiently fun and secure while making lots of assumptions to fit your narrative.  Can you think outside of your own experience? This is where we get back to that original problem - I'm supposed to respect your choice to have a child-free wedding, but you also want to judge me harshly because I then decline an out of state childfree wedding.

[b]Also, the "not a summons" line is tired.[/b][/quote]

It's been having to do a lot of work lately.[/quote]

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