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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]NP. OP, omg please ignore all these people being SO mean to you because they’ve set their hair on fire with envy at what you’re able to afford, saying you’re a “brat” or a “kindergartner” for wanting something nice to show after a lifetime of hustling and scraping and saving! Oh, and while raising TWO kids, ALONE! Not only do I have sympathy for you in spades, I think you are amazing and have so much respect for what you have achieved.

DCUM is well-known for being a gathering place of higher net-worth people. I feel like usually people on here are talking about how a HHI in the low six figures is actually pretty low, or comparing private schools in a way that you know they’re never going to have worry about tuition costs. So you came to this board to vent, and maybe get a little advice or encouragement. Instead, it seems like everyone (mostly partnered and double-income, so what’s their excuse?) who lives really far out who can’t imagine being able to afford $1M came out of the woodwork to call you names and kick you while you’re down. Or suggest that you’re an awful person for not being soo happy that you’re not one of those people having this struggle at $300k instead. Like what smug, condescending schadenfreude garbage is that? They can all seriously eff off.

I really think the meanest of the PPs live in Bumblefck and not the DMV. The past two years were AWFUL times to be a buyer - we (and a bunch of people we know) were right there with you. There was so much competition. Waiving all contingencies became the new normal, houses were regularly going for $200k over list and getting snapped up so quickly, you would go to an open house and be turned away at the door because the buyer had just accepted an offer.

I think things are slightly better these days, at least for SFHs in parts of N Va. There are fewer buyers right now so competition isn’t as stiff. Contingencies are a thing again (the appraisal contingency is a big deal, especially if you are coming from a non-equity position—you will have to cough up any difference in cash), prices seem to be stabilizing, and things aren’t going for an unpredictable amount over list. You can breathe and think for two seconds before launching headfirst into one of the biggest financial commitments you’ll ever have.

I do agree with the majority of the responses that you should stop renting and buy something though. You pinpointed yourself several times that the fact that you do not already have equity is a problem. That is not going to change if you rent forever. Sure, it can feel risky buying something that you’re not sure will appreciate, but renting is thousands of dollars out the window, every month, guaranteed. And you never know when your landlord is going to decide to sell, in which case you’ll be scrambling to find new housing anyway, without the benefit of being current on your research.

You have no idea whether life in that hypothetical $1.2M house would really be that great right now. You may have ended up going way over-budget in a bidding war, you may have had to take out a loan to cover an appraisal deficit, you may have been contending with all sorts of unforeseen issues like dangerous branches, roof, foundation, or electrical issues that you’re just now discovering while stretched beyond the max, because you waived everything in order to have a competitive offer.

In terms of your class-consciousness and feeling like a failure…you are NOT a failure. Most people will understand that it might take extra time for a single mom to buy herself a starter house. And I bet that like me, they’ll admire your ability to single-hand your own ship. The sooner you do it, the sooner you can upgrade, and you won’t be able to upgrade without it. If you never upgrade, then—shrug—you are a Homeowner with equity in some real estate. You currently feel crappy about yourself that you don’t have equity in a house, so I think deep down you feel that home ownership, even if not perfect for what you can afford, is in and of itself a class marker. So get on the property ladder! Even if your starter house is not your dream house.

Don’t stretch too much, buy comfortably and be proud of yourself! I think you and your kids have so much more to gain from their having a confident mom who works hard and doesn’t apologize for the happy home she’s created for them. Wishing you the best in your house hunting![/quote]

This useless novel.[/quote]

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