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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Indians do not expect equality. In fact they expect that they will be overlooked in all opportunities.  That is the reason the emphasis is on bettering oneself and working harder. It also means they live super frugally so that they can spend the money on educational resources.   It seems to be working well, so whatever others have to say does not matter.  This trait also means that they are focussed inwards. They don't self advocate and they don't question any shit that authority figures throw on them.

Finally, Indian parents will stay together in a marriage united by the goal of seeing their kids succeed and giving them a leg-up.  Anything else is disruptive to their children.  This alone (intact marriages and little dysfunction) helps the Indian children in all ways.

My White neighbor had all the advantages I could think of when their and our kids were little.  They were White, Blue-eyed, Blond, from a very well known, 1%er,  having their own wikipedia page, East Coast family - even though they themselves were middle class.  They would never have any problems getting into Ivies, getting internships  or getting a job etc.  The wife became a teacher, slept with her student and was thrown out.  Parents divorced. The father became a dope-head, kids are grown up, daughter did not go to a college and has gone into nefarious things earning a living on her back.  All their advantages have come to zero.  Thankfully they moved to Florida.

I see a lot of families like this. Most of the times these families have a lot of problem and it implodes during the school years of their kids. My thought is that such selfishness does not help the children.  They can spend money on everything but paying for their kids college. They can spend money on booze but not cooking for their children.

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Traditionally, in Indian culture divorce (and pre-marital sex) is considered a taboo especially for women, though its changing and educated families have become more accepting. The downside is there is some abuse towards women in less educated families as women are considered dependent on husbands and cannot leave the marriage. Indian couples often have similar marital issues as white couples and its not uncommon for extended family or friends to get involved to work out the differences. In any case, its a common understanding between parents that kids shouldn't be disrupted and parents try very hard to keep their differences aside for kids. Once kids come into the picture, their entire life revolves around the kids happiness and success. I know, its difficult to get our heads around, Indian arranged (or semi-arranged) marriages tend to work and have very low divorce rate because couples have little expectations going into the marriage and relationships are built up on a strong support system. Couples know that they don't always have to be happy or fill each others lines to make the marriage work.

Since education is considered the most important asset, Indian parents happily give up luxuries and free time and throw all the available resources at them so kids have a leg up. I personally know one couple who sold their home (I even said its not a good idea) and wife had to go to work so they could pay for their kids college with out loans. I agree that it can be overwhelming and stressful to some kids but they try to manage with full support from parents. So, the only thing that kids really need to worry about is their education and career with confidence that their parents never abandon them and keep them on track. However, this sort of protection is not always good for Indian kids as they tend to be less prepared for the real world and as a previous poster correctly said, they can appear to be rigid or inflexible until they become independent and start figuring on their own.  
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