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[quote=Anonymous]There's an interesting part of Jen's recent podcast when she briefly alludes to some of the hard conversations she'd had with Tyler. In the context of speaking about how different they are (long marriage vs never married, 5 kids vs none, etc etc), she speaks to the "growth" she's had opening up to a new perspective, a by-product of conversations they've had that "rubbed up to the differences in us."

Jen shares that when she bristles or is bothered by something he says or does, she often learns from his response (corrections) that her reaction is not appropriate. She explains that her responses are indicators of her trauma from a previous bad relationship. It's presented as this big eye-opening thing for her to see life from his perspective and that any negative reaction to something he does/says is just "trauma" from her broken marriage.

But what she fails to see is that maybe her reactions to things he says, does or doesn't do as a boyfriend might actually be red flags that they are not well suited as partners.

For example, she says Tyler has taught her that some people [i]choose [/i]to be single for life. She notes that she is wired to crave connection and the commitment of marriage, even briefly acknowledging that she misses having someone around at night after dinner to talk about their days, snuggle, and hang out. But then quickly adds, 'having said that, I'm not sure that I'll ever get married again. I'm not sure I want to." It was unconvincing. She cites statistics about how there's more single people in the US than ever before, it's the trend!  Sounds like she's trying to convince herself to adopt Tyler's ways rather than acknowledge that perhaps they are very different people who want different things from their relationships.

She seems desperate to gain his approval and that any concerns she brings up are dismissed as her trauma vs something to pay attention to. [/quote]

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