Reply to How to respond when kid gets into school and is Legacy

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It is rude for friends to respond to your DC this way.  However I think your DC should have acknowledged their advantage in the first place, especially when talking to kids who didn’t get in.  This was a missed opportunity to be gracious and honestly that is what I would focus on teaching your kid.[/quote]

People earn grace - and those kids don’t deserve it. [/quote]

Grace is unearned pretty much by definition.[/quote]

Fine - graciousness is earned [/quote]

Not really.

I think the friends were rude.  I absolutely stand by my comment that DS would ideally have acknowledged his advantage.  That is gracious.  That is humble.  That has nothing to do with the merits of the audience.  Even if it is absolutely true that DS got in because he’s just a star and a better student, I think it’s weird that his parents seem to want his friends to understand that.  There’s no reason to be this way.[/quote]

And there’s reason for the other kids (we don’t know if they were his friends) to be that way? Unacceptable behavior like that doesn’t need to be met anything other than contempt. [/quote]

I mean, if OP were one of the friends’ parents I would have responded differently and suggested they counsel their own kid.  I agree the behavior is bad.

I do not personally counsel my own children to treat anyone with contempt.

But I also cannot even fathom sharing news that I or my child got into a school (to disappointed hopefuls, no less) without acknowledging the advantage on my/our side.  Regardless of the circumstances, if I were telling friends about an Ivy acceptance (and I did go— I have done this) I would be searching for ways to be humble and not boast.  In my book that’s also a manners issue.  Again, especially talking to people who applied and did not get in.  Acknowledging the legacy connection is just being self aware.[/quote]

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