Reply to I told DW it’s time for her to return to work FT

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Reply to "I told DW it’s time for her to return to work FT"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]She can go back to work full time but Op has to promise to take on the role of the default parent while his wife establishes herself in her career. That might take a year or more.

Do you understand what it means to be the default parent, Op?

It means being the parent who stays at home when the kids are sick or off of school for a holiday or snow day.  It means being the parent who takes the kids to doctor and dental appointments.  It means being the parent who goes to teacher conferences and volunteers to chaperone field trips.  It also means being on duty while your wife goes away for a week or more at a time on business trips - sometimes to really fun locations (Vegas, Orlando, San Diego, Boston, NYC) - while your stuck at home working FT, getting kids to/from school, doing laundry, helping with homework, making dinner....

Do that for a year and then come back to tell us how it went.  Good luck!

[/quote]

I'm the default parent AND I work full time in management at a Big Four consulting firm. Am I some kind of superhero??[/quote]

Nope. You are racing around, stressed, you don’t see your kids a lot, you had them in daycare 10-12 hours a day at 3 months, you think high schoolers should be left to their own doings, you outsource everything, and “point and click” all your daily tasks and can’t believe everyone else doesn’t live like this too. [/quote]

Nah. I took six months off with each kid, but nice try. :) None of what you wrote applies to me. I cook from scratch multiple times a week. I don't have a housekeeper, just a biweekly cleaner. Occasionally I race around when I have a big deadline coming up, but it's occasional and I kind of enjoy it - I am a type A person who performs best under pressure. My job is flexible enough that I can do pick up, get in quality time with the kids and then pick it up again after bedtime routine. And best of all, if my husband decides he doesn't love me anymore and wants to leave, I will maintain my lifestyle. Unlike OP's wife, no one controls the purse strings or questions my usefulness - I'm an equal partner and my husband is proud of my achievements.   [/quote]

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