Reply to Sister says 14yo nephew not coming to my wedding because of his sports tournament. Thoughts?

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Reply to "Sister says 14yo nephew not coming to my wedding because of his sports tournament. Thoughts?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Attention Helicopter Parents. Do not become Drone parents by suggesting calling coaches in high school or college professors are a good idea. At some point, your little snowflake will be an adult. Let them become adults without your overbearing behavior.

/rant[/quote]

Do you think a high schooler is "becoming an adult" by submitting to another adult's unfair rules and judgment without even explaining their wishes? It sounded from OP like this man actually wanted to attend both events. The sister may have even made the decision herself which event to attend. [b]This forum says there would be huge penalties though for him skipping this pre-season tournament. [/b]So his decision was possibly more about how to keep on the coaches's good side instead of what he really wanted to do and felt was right. Again I completely fault the coaches and the people who prop these kind of coaches up. I was a varsity athlete from freshman to senior year and I graduated in the top 5% academically. I prefer smart and athletic to dumb jock and dork btw. I know things have changed and everything is so much more competitive but I have to wonder why?[/quote]
Actually, I don't think that's the take-away from the people who are concerned about the kid being caught in the middle.  Skipping the tournament may be just fine, depending on what the coach and team culture are like and on the the kid's abilities and temperament.  Many of us were just reacting to the blunt statements that it's always wrong for a child to miss a wedding for sports and that all games and tournaments are the same and are unimportant in the scheme of things, and that anyone who thinks otherwise is teaching their kids bad values/puts sports before family/etc..

As some of the more reasonable posters have pointed out, this whole situation is so fact-specific that it's a bit crazy for anyone to say with certainty how the OP ought react to it.  We'd have to know more about not only the sport situation and kid, but the dynamic between the sisters and within the family in general, among other things.  [/quote]

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