Reply to Extreme resentment over mental load

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] Your kids who take the SAT should be signing themselves up. You guys make your own problems.[/quote]

DP. No, parents have responsibility here. A husband should be capable of knowing this and assigning himself the task. If the husband is too incompetent or cannot be asked, its on the other parent and there is a case for resentment here.

The Venmo for the teacher gifts is optional. Tell the teacher your husband is too incompetent to parent and for the sake of your mental load, you needed to take responsibility for the SAT. They'll understand. [/quote]

These are kids who are 2 years from attending college. In many cases, a $$$$$ college. The fact that you exempt the student from responsibility here shows the issue - you do not understand who owns what responsibility.  If your 16 year old cannot sign up for the SAT, you have been doing too much. [/quote]

I'm not saying the parent is fully responsible. I'm saying the parent has a responsibility to ensure the child has what they need to complete the task. Maybe that's nothing. Maybe that's next-to-nothing. It's at least an on-call event for the parent. [/quote]
On-call event is a big difference than signing the kid up. Which is it? And by the way, on-call event sounds like basic parenting of teens. Are you saying some of your husbands don’t even do that?[/quote]

I just said parents "have responsibility" here. I was not intending that to mean the responsibility must always involve signing up.  [/quote]

What is a parent’s responsibility with regard to the SAT? And did either of your parents carry that responsibility?[/quote]

All already answered this: on-call if needed. My parents were not needed, but available if needed. [/quote]

+1.

I grew up abroad, and 15 year olds researched the U.S SATs, found study materials and registration information. All parents needed to do was pay.

After taking the SATs, these kids researched U.S schools, applications and visa letters, visa requirements/appointments. All parents did was provide bank information.[/quote]

I mean, I did that in the US in the 90s. The world has changed since then and people are not willing to let their kids sink. [/quote]

The world has changed because people with anxiety disorders are loud in their conviction that everyone has to be as neurotic and crazy as they are.[/quote]

Even more to the point, people are using their "disorders" to get accommodations to get a leg up in testing and college admissions. This is the sort of "change" that mommy needs to ensure is handled to keep DC "competitive". This is what is meant by "sign them up for the SAT".

Must keep up those UMC standards![/quote]

I was the one who initially said something about signing my son up for the SAT.  I was checking my email while looking at DCUM, and I got an email from the school with a link to sign up my sophomore for the SAT in February, so I signed him up.

DH got the same email and didn’t even open it.

Some of you come from some pretty dysfunctional families. I forget how lucky I am to have the parents I did.  
[/quote]

You're kind of proving the point. Your husband saw the email and thought "sophomore doesn't need to take the SAT yet", but you the snowplow parent went right on ahead (probably without even consulting DC)!!! Moreover, you readily admit how trivial this act is because you did it while scrolling DCUM and yet you go on about how much of a "burden" it is also. And now you are patting yourself on the back lol.[/quote]

Not the PP, but sophomores do take the PSAT, which is what the poster probably meant.

And, in addition to being a good opportunity for student to practice (p part of psat) the Sat without affecting their future scores, the PSAT is also used for several scholarship awards.

Not taking it when it’s easily available, while not a disaster, is definitely a huge missed opportunity for someone who plans to go to college.[/quote]

Someone who plans to go to college shouldn’t need mommy to sign up for them.  I’m sure the kid is made aware of the sign up process at school.  JFC.[/quote]

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