Reply to Are you offended when someone says they “didnt want someone else to raise my kids”?

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Reply to "Are you offended when someone says they “didnt want someone else to raise my kids”?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It’s rude.  I have been both a SAHM and now work from an office four days a week, and I have always been neutral as to how anyone else chooses to conduct their lives and structure their families.

I got a little offended when a colleague said “when my daughter was born we decided my wife would stay home, and we were able to do that.” In response, I clarified that we *could* have me stay at home but that I *choose* to work.  The implication of his statement was that he was financially able to support his family himself; I wanted to make it clear that my husband also earns enough to support our family, as well (and I believe makes more than this person). I found that grating. [/quote]

“When my daughter was born we wanted to buy a red car, and we were able to do that.”

But I bought a green car! His implication was that I was inferior![/quote]

I mean even in your example "we were able to" sounds very off-putting. Why not just "we bought a red car."[/quote]

DP: Because then it fails to acknowledge that you need more money to afford the red car and that the red car is a privilege, so not acknowledging that it is a luxury sounds tone deaf too. It's a lose-lose situation and best to simply yell, "Squirrel!" while pointing to the left when someone asks you what you do for work or why you don't work. People look for reasons to be offended by and look down on your choice to stay home or simply try to humiliate you. It's most often the very reason they ask. You just need to change the subject and refuse to answer.[/quote]

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