Reply to Be honest- what do you think about women who are content to be just wives and mothers?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I wish I could afford to stay home and be a mother and wife. Instead, I’m paying someone else to spend whole days with my child while I work at a career that is meaningless to me.

Being a mother is not “just” being a mother. People can love being a mother the same way another woman might love being a lawyer. Parents can prioritize being present for their kids over spending most of their time focused on furthering their career or just earning a paycheck. [/quote]

But can't you do both? It' a false choice at times. Not always, but at times.

I heard someone use the term "full time mother' the other day -- I know what they meant, but are we not all full time mothers? [/quote]

DP but are some of you being deliberately obtuse?  OBVIOUSLY if someone else is caring for your child while you are at work, you are not doing as much “mothering” as a mother who cares for her child ALL THE TIME.  So IN CONTEXT, NO! You are NOT a “full-time mother” (which as you said you know what they MEANT when they used this term).

This is not a value judgement, it is merely a fact.

(I have been both WOHM and SAHM FWIW)[/quote]

So…full time mothering is something that only exists before age 5? [/quote]

Once again, in context, when someone says “full time mother” they simply mean they’re actually, physically present taking care of their own kids.  My mother is still my mother and will be until one of us dies, but I certainly wouldn’t describe her as a “full-time mother”.

So I ask again, are you being deliberately obtuse?  Or can you really not wrap your brain around this concept?[/quote]

+1, people are just looking for a reason to be mad about this. If a working parent would have to pay someone a full-time salary to do it, then it's a full-time job. So yes, a SAHM to kids who are not in school all day is a full-time mom in a way that I, a working mom with a school age child, am not. This is not offensive or some kind of insult to working mothers, it's someone trying to accurately describe what their life looks like.

This is equally annoying as when a SAHM gets mad about the phrase "working mother" because "aren't we all working?" Like yes, of course we are, I appreciate everyone's labor here, I'm just using a short hand to convey the fact that I have a paid job I do during the day instead of being a full-time mom.

Getting offended over unintentional semantics is exhausting![/quote]

Your last line summarizes much of the inanity of these mommy-war threads.  The same BS over and over again.  All this ridiculous barb-throwing at each other, when we should be uniting to fight for better, more family-friendly policies for working parents.[/quote]

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