Reply to Be honest- what do you think about women who are content to be just wives and mothers?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'll be honest since you requested it OP.

I have a low opinion of parents who do not even want to be the primary caregiver for their children when they are infants and toddlers.  I think prioritizing material things and one's own career and self-fulfillment is selfish and indicates a lack of understanding of how important it is for young children to spend most of their time with someone who loves them completely and unconditionally.

A little off of your topic but completely relevant.[/quote]

When I’m meeting someone who doesn’t work outside the house I am usually bracing for a comment like this, s[b]ince they are handed out freely with out care for any of the reasons some one might have chosen to work.[/b] I have no other thoughts about their choices- how would I know better for them than they do for themselves?[/quote]

What if I love my work and feel passionately about it and what it does for society, and chose to work even if I don't 'have' to -- do you think those people are less-than parents, too? [/quote]

I don’t think SAHMs are leaving jobs like this, they’re leaving dead-end menial work. People who are happy and accommodated and valued stay. [/quote]

I left my career in which I was happy, accommodated, valued, and relatively highly paid.  But I couldn’t handle the lifestyle anymore of juggling that career while having three kids, one in daycare and two in before and after care, not to mention the chaos of summer camps and school breaks and snow days.  We were all stressed and no one was happy at home.  I miss my job sometimes, but my kids are so much happier that so far it’s been worth the sacrifice.   I can always go back to work later, when we can all handle it better.[/quote]

If things like snow days and school breaks are chaos then no, you’re not being accommodated. Some jobs just can’t— ER docs, nurses, etc.— but in 2024 a job that is done at a desk isn’t a matter of life and death, and a couple snow days per winter and breaks known about a year in advance should pose 0 hardship for a well organized employer. The other kind is who people leave.[/quote]

Hmmm… I am in a better position than you to understand and speak to how I was treated by my employer.  Have you never had a presentation or important meeting the same day as your spouse, and then whoops now a kid is sick or it’s a snow day!  And school breaks add up to MONTHS out of the year (you know summer break is a thing right? and planning for, booking, and then doing the daily drop off and pick ups can get pretty complicated, especially with multiple kids)…  You’re being ridiculous.

The reality is: It can be really hard to have two full time working parents and multiple kids, even (gasp!) school age kids!  I am not ashamed to admit that I reached a point where I just couldn’t handle it all anymore, and more importantly, I didn’t WANT to handle it all anymore.  [/quote]

I am honestly jealous of women who have jobs where they could just drop everything for a snow day or if their kid was sick.  The jobs I have had have not allowed for that flexibility.  There is a certain expectation in some jobs that you are always available.  That is why I left what looked like a good job on paper  to stay home with my kids.  I feel very fortunate I was able to do that.  I don’t regret it for a second.  I know if I had stayed on the path I was on, my kids would have suffered.  [/quote]

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