Reply to Be honest- what do you think about women who are content to be just wives and mothers?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'll be honest since you requested it OP.

I have a low opinion of parents who do not even want to be the primary caregiver for their children when they are infants and toddlers.  I think prioritizing material things and one's own career and self-fulfillment is selfish and indicates a lack of understanding of how important it is for young children to spend most of their time with someone who loves them completely and unconditionally.

A little off of your topic but completely relevant.[/quote]

When I’m meeting someone who doesn’t work outside the house I am usually bracing for a comment like this, s[b]ince they are handed out freely with out care for any of the reasons some one might have chosen to work.[/b] I have no other thoughts about their choices- how would I know better for them than they do for themselves?[/quote]

What if I love my work and feel passionately about it and what it does for society, and chose to work even if I don't 'have' to -- do you think those people are less-than parents, too? [/quote]

I don’t think SAHMs are leaving jobs like this, they’re leaving dead-end menial work. People who are happy and accommodated and valued stay. [/quote]

Sure, but people are saying that they should, "I have a low opinion of parents who do not even want to be the primary caregiver for their children when they are infants and toddlers. I think prioritizing material things and one's own career and self-fulfillment is selfish and indicates a lack of understanding of how important it is for young children to spend most of their time with someone who loves them completely and unconditionally."[/quote]

Yes but that’s what someone is saying. People say all kinds of things. The above sentence likely fills someone with a warmer feeling of superiority than saying “I wasn’t getting much out of my career, and I get a lot out of being home”. People aren’t always comfortable admitting they weren’t really getting much because it acknowledges that others were. [/quote]

This works both ways though (I mean the judgment).

I did leave my job after I had a baby because it wasn't fulfilling and I realized it would be more fulfilling to be home. My job wasn't menial (SME with a decent amount of seniority) but I also wasn't in charge, had to deal with a lot of office politics/corporate BS, and was kind of burnt out. But I would tell that to people and they'd openly judge me for it. Like I remember saying this to a friend of a friend who asked if I'd been planning to become a SAHM ("No, but after my daughter was born, I just realized staying home with her was more appealing to me at this point in time than staying in my job -- I was ready for a change") and her response? "I think I'm honestly too smart to ever feel that way, my brain just could not be engaged enough staying home with a baby." Like literally this woman called me stupid to my face because I chose to quit a pretty decent job to stay home with my baby. That's the worst example but I remember getting a lot of comments like that during that time. Being a SAHM is pretty unusually in my social circles, so I went out of my way to frame it so people understood I didn't judge any woman for working instead of staying home (and still don't, it's what I always planned to do and it shocked me when I decided to do something else instead). But wow were some people rude to me about it.[/quote]

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