Reply to Holding my boundary. Let him be mad.

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Reply to "Holding my boundary. Let him be mad."

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[quote=Anonymous]If OP has to pay child support to DH that will be the focus of her life until her dying day. Neither one of you had a healthy, loving, warm mother. His is cold and disengaged, yours is a martyr, just a different way to be self absorbed and controlling. Both suck for your kid.

Family therapy with a focus on giving the kid a warm loving home and a genuine willingness to do introspection and grow as a parent is the only route to her happiness, OP. Start there, focus on your kid not the dishtowels and your grievances. Be willing to examine the wounds from your own childhood and commit to a new pattern. Take your focus off your husband for now and put it on the child. You can only control yourself, your reactions, your choices.

Do you have neighbors with kids? Can you socialize with daycare families? You need some better role models and to get out of your heads and the business you both use to disengage - you with chores and DH with tv or work.

The way you both disengage with the kid to wind each other up is really disturbing, OP. Do better. [/quote]

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