Reply to When to tell kids the truth about their father’s adultery as reason for divorce

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[quote=Anonymous]A balanced answer from 'Psychology Today.' Basically it depends, but generally "no" unless there is a compelling reason to disclose (don't gaslight them if they encountered direct evidence or could be told at school, for example).

"No matter what, the information you share with your kids should be age appropriate. If your kids are more than a few years apart in age, you may need to have multiple conversations. If your children are very young, your disclosure might stop with a basic statement that mommy and daddy are mad at each other right now because of something one of them did. Then you can let them know that it’s not their fault, they can’t fix it or control it, and it’s OK for them to talk about their feelings. If you are actively working to heal from this issue, you can tell them that as well.

Older kids may ask questions about the specific nature of the situation and the possibility of divorce. If so, I suggest general but honest responses. If your kids have inadvertently found sexts or porn on the cheater’s laptop or phone, heard rumors about the infidelity at school, or walked in on the cheater in the act, you may need to confirm that, yes, there was infidelity. If so, do not get into specifics, and make sure you use age-appropriate language."

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