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[quote=Anonymous]This is a choice a lot of women I know have made and one I made too. I didn't work at all when my child was little and then started working part time when they went to kindergarten, but really I made very little money. It was more to use my degrees and have something to say when people asked me what I did.

Then I got a full time job for a few years and was laid off (not my fault...downsized). Then I got very sick...actually I was sick while I had my job, but my flexibility made it okay to work around. This was before everyone was working from home, and it would have been hard for me to have a 9-5 with my illness because I get random flares that can last for days or weeks or even months.

So I didn't work at all for a few more years, and now I'm working for myself and making more than I did with my full time job. But it is precarious and not something I think I can count on forever. I stumbled into it. I have never made close to what my husband does.

We have a lot of life insurance.

A lot of the women I know who didn't return to the workforce are now kind of rethinking things that their kids are getting older. I know one person who is getting another degree to theoretically go into another profession, although I sort of wonder if she will really do it. It's really hard when you've been out of things for a long time. You don't have references. You're older and competing with jobs with much younger people. If you can do it financially, sometimes it just seems a lot easier not to if you don't have to do it.

But I feel better about myself when I'm contributing to our household income. My husband has never made me feel like it's "his" money. But I just like making my own money to contribute. I feel less shackled to my husband--not that I am--but I like feeling like I have some financial power.

And I admit that I do get nervous about divorce. I don't think we will divorce, but our marriage isn't perfect, and I know that I really can't afford to divorce even if I wanted to. Knowing that makes me sad and scared. Sometimes I feel trapped. I wonder if I would still be in my marriage if I had continued in my career, but honestly, I could never afford the lifestyle I have with my former career because it just wasn't that lucrative. I do have family money, but I won't get any of it until I inherit that, and I have no idea when that will be. It's not like I want my parents to die. So, I don't count on that.

Just things to think about. I totally don't judge anyone for making that choice...it's really easy to slip into it if you are financially able to do so. But if you are younger you also should really think about what your life might look like in 10, 20 or 30 years and how much individual financial freedom you will have or want. [/quote]

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