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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]That sounds really, really hard. For you and for your daughter. You haven’t said whether you work, OP. Do you? I think the combination of deadbeat dad plus successful stepfather who has kids he takes care of, and also being excluded herself, is a lot for your daughter to deal with. Even if you think there is entitlement in the mix. How much do you have put aside for her education, and how much will she have to take out in loans? Does she have a chance at merit aid or some kind of scholarship for an activity or interest? What kind of school is she interested in? A small liberal arts college, an ivy, or what?[/quote]

OP here. I do work, in non profit admin. I have a good job but I don’t make a ton. DD and I were on our own for most of her life. She is as 12/almost 13 when I remarried.

I have 30k for her, which I think is pretty good considering the circumstances! I’m proud of that, I don’t care what people on this board say. However it’s a pittance compared to the schools she wants (Williams, Swarthmore, Vassar, Etc.)

My H and I keep our finances separate, especially when it comes to the kids. It’s just the way we’ve always done things. [/quote]

OP you we’re clearly willing to sign away your rights and decided that this situation was good enough for your daughter, and didn’t think things through. I think you thought your daughter would be “smart” like you and willing to make herself be especially liked by this rich family you are so impressed with. You cannot have your cake and eat it to- you are NOT an advocate for your daughter, and she resents it. You’re tossing her some crumbs and telling her she should be so happy to even be thought of. It’s awful and very Cinderella-esque. If you really want to do right by your daughter get a REAL job that is high paying, and help her pay off her student loans later, and if your husband has a problem with that, he can help out instead. You aren’t your husband and his kids entertainment with no human needs, and I’m getting gold digger vibes from this all. Your daughter may be smarter than you and knows she will be better set up for life than you are if she goes to a good school. Vassar isn’t “fancy”, it’s a damn good school. [/quote]

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