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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Do you all think he'll regret this? [/quote]
I wouldn’t think he’ll regret the affair(s) - being “in love”, rather than just sex, is a pretty cool thing, “love colors everything” and all that “being alive” shit.
But he has to regret all those texts/photos being out there - no sane person enjoys your private life being out there for everyone to see. 
And, yes, pain to his kids is the only real harm here IMHO.[/quote]

Are you sure? The way I see it, his texting things about he would just love to have coffee with her in the morning demonstrates that he has spent very little real life time with this woman. And now he is discovering that she betrayed him. My idealistic heart would like to think he regrets giving in to infatuation when it was clear that he had some kind of genuine love and regard for his wife, at least according to their lovey dovey photos and comments about each other(which yes, I realize can all be for show.... but they looked like they had a solid love to me). [/quote]

I think they were in love for a long time, but it faded as happens with long term relationships. We let all the day to day stuff and long-standing unresolved issues get in the way of having a truly meaningful relationship. One day you wake up and realize you don’t feel that spark any more. You meet someone else you don’t have that history with, and think you’re in love. It’s really just infatuation and if you stay with them for a long time you’re going to experience the same problems you had with the first relationship. I know this is a simplification and there are lots of different problems in relationships, but I think this is generally true.

I wonder if most people who dump their long term relationships for an infatuation do end up regretting it. I imagine a lot of people do have regrets later on when they’re older. I don’t think anyone should stay in a bad relationship, but thinking you’re in love with someone you haven’t had long-term experience with is a mistake. It’s all very new and fresh and fun and easy right now. One of them will get bored or annoyed that it’s not as perfect as they thought and it will fall apart.

My DH and I have had plenty of problems over the years. A few times I’ve thought of divorce, but I always come back to who do I want to be with when I’m older? Who is going to have my back later on? I want to be with the person I have a history with. 
[/quote]

Also, if you have kids, focusing on re-igniting your existing marriage even when that new person is just so tempting is really your moral responsibility, at least in my view. [/quote]

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