Reply to Wantng to marry a career oriented guy

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm glad you're not my daughter. I have no problem with someone being a SAHM (my daughter is) but to define that as your goal from the get go is sad.[/quote]

Why? Lots of women have led very fulfilled lives as wives and homemakers. I only wish I'd had the chance myself. My kids suffered. Now I wish I'd provided less in material things and more time and attention. My career, in retrospect, didn't amount to a hill of beans.
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Because becoming a SAHM is something decided by partners in the context of a family, not a plan before you have met your husband.
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Meh. People who know who they are before they get married can be honest about what they want and work towards finding a partner who can compliment that. OP might be a gold digger.
However, the implication that  women who decide they want to be stay at home moms before they get married are somehow flawed is a narrow minded one.[/quote]

A man is not a plan.  Marriage and motherhood are relationships, not a career.[/quote]

What is a good plan or a good career? Why is that plan or career so much better than wanting to stay home with your kids when they are young?[/quote]

Because life throws things at you.  Because if you are not able to be self-sufficient, you are at risk of poverty if something goes wrong with your marriage.  Because motherhood lasts about 20 years and your adult life is much longer than that.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to SAH with your kids for a time.  But it is not a life plan.  [/quote]

Life throws things at everybody. Poverty should not last long if you are smart and can go back to school if divorce should happen. Being a stay at home may not be a life plan, but it can be a very good 20 year plan for the right person. And at 22, 23,24, 25-30, a 20 year plan is a life plan. You can always figure out the rest later.

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NP here I guess it's because I've known many women with this plan and without fail they are either divorced with kids and struggling or married to guys that aren't bad, but aren't great and wishing they had chosedn differently but  won't do anything differently now that they have kids.[/quote]

I know women like this too, and I can honestly say that they would be struggling if they did not stay at home. Some of the excuses they make for not gong back to school when the kids are older/when the marriage failed are not very good. Some people will struggle in life regardless of the decisions they make.

Just like some will not, regardless of whether they stayed home or worked.[/quote]

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