Reply to Fiancee with moderate income insists on private school for daughter

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How much credit card debt and how much student loans?
You both need to talk about all the money, or lack thereof.
Just sit her down with a pencil and paper and go over the numbers,  yours, hers, and how the numbers will change after the marriage.  Presumably you will need a combined budget,  so you might as well do that now.[/quote]

This is the only logical decision. You don't get to come into the picture and yank this poor girl from her school. But you also will have a say in the financial future for you and your wife. When you get married, where will you live? What school is the best fit for this little girl? Your kids may thrive in public but the private school may be better for your soon to be step daughter.

It doesn't sound to me like the fiancé was relying on a man to come save her. If that was the case, she probably would have gone for someone super wealthy who wouldn't bat an eye at the private tuition. For whatever reason, fiancé and ex decided on a private school for their daughter. It was probably mich more affordable when they were together, but they are willing to sacrifice to send her there. It's not like the is foregoing retirement savings so she can have a fancy new car and designer handbags.

You just have to talk about your joint future and all the money and budget issues.

FWIW my dad starting dating my step mom when all the kids were in middle school. My sister and I went to private, step siblings went to a highly regarded public. My dad did not want to pay for them to go to private school, did not want us to go to public, and they felt it would be too weird for the kids to go to different schools. So they didn't get married until all the kids were out of school.[/quote]

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