Reply to How long do you think is a respectable time to mourn the death of a spouse?

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Reply to "How long do you think is a respectable time to mourn the death of a spouse?"

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[quote=Anonymous]Like many people have said.. it depends on the person and the scenario.

What people "on the outside" tend to forget (and by on the outside, I mean anyone who is not the spouse), is that the primary relationship between thos two people has usually changed drastically during the course of the illness. The spouse has already had to change their relationship from romantic/ lover, to caregiver. The expectations from both relationships are very different.

So while you are mourning your parent, friend.. whatever, this person has likely endured long months of mourning their lover, while dealing with the daily grind of what it entails to be a caregiver. This involves a lot of self sacrifice and putting your own hopes, wants, and needs on hold - often for very long periods of time.

So, cut them a break. You're mourning - they have likely long ago lost their relationship as they knew it, and deserve some time to be happy again. They have THEIR OWN life to live, to find happiness, to fulfill their own dreams. [/quote]

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