Reply to Tired of being the grownup

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]PP, I've done that. We've had friends show up to a messy house and no food when he invited them to a cookout without doing any planning or prep. I left beforehand and he shrugged and told them he couldn't do it when they arrived and sent them home. They probably blamed me. I had to cancel travel to visit people because he didn't follow through on his share of the prep for a trip and I literally didn't have enough time to complete laundry, get dog to sitter etc.  He wasn't embarassed or even vaguely motivated by those situations. Our toddler has had multiple meals per day of milk and nothing else when he'd promised it was his turn to meal plan and shop. I stopped doing laundry and he wore dirty clothes and tshirts to a business casual office until I realized our dual income was at stake. He's willing to make our life as bleak, lonely, and disorganized as possible before exerting any effort of his own. He is perfectly competent at work and was very successful in areas of personal interest/ambition before we met (elite postcollegiate athlete, multiple grad degrees).

He makes me feel like neither I nor my daughter are worth the kind of effort he exerted for his own personal gain.[/quote]

Ya know, you could've put this in your first post as well -- it seems he just wants to be taken care of so he can "study" or the such.

I know I'd probably start edging away from a couple that invites me/DW/maybe DCs to a cookout and there's not even food there. Not sure who I'd blame, probably whoever I liked less. If my/my DW's interactions with you/your DH consist on you yelling at him to be a human being, it'd probably go thusly:

1) wow, that OP is a bitch, yelling at her husband all the time! 
2) we see something real obvious that OP's husband should have done
3) wow, how does OP do it, living with such a useless lump?

Or it could go like this (not necessarily in your case, OP 
1) wow, that OP is a bitch, yelling at her husband all the time! 
2) we see OP's husband trying to take care of things, and OP yelling at her husband about step 5 of a 10-step process when he's diligently doing step 3 or is taking care of the kids while OP's yakking it up with other people
3) wow, that OP is *really* a bitch. [/quote]
Yes because OP's issues are all about how you would react.[/quote]

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