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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I married a man who was diagnosed with ADHD as a child, and I can understand some of the challenges. I'm sorry you're having to deal with all of this. It's definitely a struggle at times. And prior to marriage (and still at times) he seemed to hyperfocus on us, so it was hard to really find any red flags. I am lucky, though, that he is very aware of his ADHD. He doesn't take any meds for it anymore, but it does effect us, and keeping jobs more than a few years has always been a struggle for him. He's lucky in that he's very nice, kind, and really really smart, and that's what's gotten us by.

In our relationship, I actually work way more hours than he does. He's often in charge of taking and picking up DC from school and making some quick meals. He manages most of our money and renters (we own some properties), and tries to manage our house, and he does have a job (he works from home, but his job does require frequent traveling). He doesn't do these things perfectly, but he's figuring it out slowly, and that's okay.

I've learned to let some things go. When I cook, I try to make healthful meals, and I push him to do the same about 50% of the time, but I try not to get too upset if the foods are frozen or if there's occasional take out.

Sometimes, when I'm really frustrated with him, he's really good at reminding me that what i'm frustrated at is really the ADHD, not at him, and we both seem to take a step back and try to reorganize our thought process.

He is the fun loving parent, but b/c he spends more time with our toddler at home, he's had to deal with the "chips falling where they may" so to speak when he doesn't keep a schedule for feeding/sleeping. We definitely are terrible at getting our kid to nap, and our meals aren't at exact times, but our toddler has adjusted fine with our schedules and she now just tells us when she's hungry.

Also, and this is something he clued me in on, he does so much better when I compliment/thank him for something he does. It makes him remember to do it the same way the next time. Like," Oh, Honey, you did SUCH a great job making that casserole/cleaning up the living room/teaching DC to ride the bike."  Sometimes it feels fake, and I would never expect him to compliment me on such things (I was not raised like that), but he does do it.  So, I guess positive reinforcement is helpful, and he reacts similarly when his work bosses give him that type of reinforcement.

All that being said, we are currently trying for number 2. I am anxious about having a baby b/c I won't have as much time to make sure their are choking hazards laying around/all the grapes are cut/etc for this next one, but I hope it works out.

Good luck to you![/quote]

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