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[quote=Anonymous]My SIL probably feels this way about us too. She is divorced and has a busy career. She lives about 4 hours away from MIL and FIL by car. She likes to play the martyr and visits her parents frequently but to the exclusion of forming her own life. She'll turn down a trip with friends to go visit her parents. The parents love this about her although they make comments about how she is so busy and they wish she'd make time to create a life for herself. But they never turn down her offers to visit even if they know she could be using that time to herself or to be with her friends.

We live about 10 hours away by car. Compared to SIL, it appears that we don't make an effort. We have a young kid and I have very little vacation time from work. They come to visit us about twice a year. DH is in an industry where he qualifies for free trips to great locations as an incentive and so we prefer to do that when we have the opportunity. It's our chance to have a real vacation. In laws live in a location where it is only comfortable to visit during certain times of the year otherwise you're cooped up inside the whole time due to the weather. That's not a good combination with an active 4 year old and a house full of glass.

So at this point we welcome them  to come to us whenever works for them. We actually are traveling to them for the holidays because we do need to make an effort, but that's the best we can do right now. Yes, we are choosing free adults-only  vacations over visiting them more often, but I won't be a martyr like SIL. 
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